Okay, I just had a conversation with someone and they asked if I was cranky.  I think I am.  Why?  Have you ever taken a negative attitude with someone or against something and couldn't exactly put your finger on it?  I have self anaylized (there is no spell ck on this thing??).  Something that saves me a lot of money. hee hee.  I guess I am having some internal junk....I am tired..hungry...feeling like my "dieting" is out of hand and I am going to gain my weight back instead of lose some more this summer.'

But mostly..guilt..guilt that I didn't do or couldn't do this "thing" years ago and that I should try now but I don't think I can handle it .  Or could I?  Its taking in a troubled child if your tired of guessing.  I absolutely love my kids but I think that I am at my limit.  Is that realistic, selfish...or what...Don't answer.  Aren't we all capable of gettting up to bat if necessary.  Sure we say it is our life and we have to live it to our desires.  Really?  Completely?  Isn't there also that little bit of us that wants to be the hero because it feels good not necessarily because we can do something?

Okay, I am done now.  Oh, sometimes I think we are just grouchy.  Smack yourself and get over it.  I am smacking myself right now....